Well, the title is a little dramatic, but my life definitely feels a little insane right now.
For those of you that don’t know, here’s a brief (that’s a lie, it’s not brief) overview.
We, my husband, son, and I, bought a house with my parents and my grandma, so we live here with everyone. This includes my family, parents, three siblings, and my grandmother. That makes nine of us total. For those of you that think we’re crazy, I’ll confirm: we are crazy. We are all virtually insane. There’s no doubt about that. But honestly, that’s not the craziest part.
Like you would assume, each family contributes. We all pay our share of the rent and expenses. But we each have our own bills to pay, our own food to purchase, and our own cars to put gas in.
That makes sense, right? That’s what any logical mind would assume. USCIS requires you to be 125% above the poverty line in order for you to adopt. Again, this makes sense, because they don’t want to take these kids from one bad situation to another one. It would also make sense (in a loose way) that everyone in the house must be able to support themselves, and not just the adoptive parents. Ok, fine, my family was willing to disclose whatever financial information necessary in order to meet this requirement, which, all together, we were well above. But here’s the kicker: their income doesn’t count.
Yes, you read that right, their income doesn’t count. So because we all live together, Ian and I have to prove that we can cover everyone in the house. I guess because of some worst case scenario situation. It doesn’t make sense to me in the least. We really can’t afford to move out on our own – it’s not because we can’t afford the monthly rent, we can do that without issues. But it would involve all of the security deposits, pet deposits, and whatever else places to live charge. We’re keeping a lookout, but it would honestly take us back to square one, and it would push the adoption even farther off.
It honestly seems like everything is against us. First it was the living situation, then it was that I had a cat, and then it was that we didn’t think we could come up with the money in time. We’ve found solutions to all of those things (and no, we’re not getting rid of our cat), because we decided that this kid deserves to have someone fight for their wellbeing. These kids have been through more than I can ever imagine, at a much younger age. It’s not fair for me to sit back and say “I can’t” and just give up. These kids deserve a chance to live a life with a family that loves them. These kids deserve all of this and more, just like we would do for our biological son. So we’ve decided to fight.
There’s an area downstairs that’s separated from the house that we’re going to use as our apartment. Major remodeling has to take place, however, before it’s liveable. We have to get plumbing, a toilet, bath, shower, as well as insulation, a kitchen, the carpet redone. In the timeframe we’re aiming for, it seems impossible.
But, if this is what God wants, it’s already done. I honestly don’t believe that He would have showed us this child only for us to give up a week later. So we’re going to move as quickly as possible to get it done. We don’t have the funds for it yet, but I believe in miracles, and I believe that it’ll happen in His timing. My husband and I are marketing our skills, hoping that someone will hire us, that someone will believe in our cause and help us fight to get our child home.
It’s very frustrating, because we have a bunch of fundraising ideas that we’re planning on using to put towards the adoption (which we still are), but now we have to put that on the backburner while we get our apartment set up. But I figured that we can still fundraise. We’re going to do it, it just might not be as soon as we were expecting. We’re going to fundraise, so then when the apartment is ready, we will have a good chunk of the funds to get things moving as quickly as we can. I refuse to just sit on my hands while waiting for everything to just fall into place. I wasn’t raised that way. I was raised to do what you can while waiting, so that you’re even more prepared when the time comes.
We’re going to get our passports started, get our marriage certificate, and start a file of all the important paperwork so then we’ll have it all together. We’re going to be so prepared the people involved are going to be blown away. I’ve never been so passionate about anything my entire life. My son always asks to look at pictures of “his baby” (even though the child is older than him), and he gets so excited.
I want to take a second to say thank you. To all of you who are taking the time to read this. For your support. You give me more motivation, because your support means everything to me. I can’t wait to see what happens, and I can’t wait to show you my little one. Right now, until I have my affairs in order, I am unable to share with you the child or any other identifying information.
If you’re anxious to know, here’s how you can help speed things along:
Share. Share share share this blog and these posts. It’s important that people know what we’re trying to do.
Check out my other blog, Fat Girlfriend to Fit Wife. How does this help me? Once I get enough page views there, I can apply to have ads and sponsored posts. I also make a small commission from the affiliate links you find, all of which go towards the adoption process. This has the potential to also close the gap to meet the USCIS requirements.
Let me know how I can help in any way possible. Like I said, we’re trying to hire out our services to get to where we need to go. We have a good variety of skills between the two of us, so please, let us know if we can help you in anyway, even if you aren’t local.
Also, I feel super weird about this, but I’ve gotten to the point where I just say that they can’t say yes if I don’t ask. If you feel driven to, donate. If you do, let me know if you’d like to put it towards getting the downstairs ready or towards the actual adoption fees. I want to make sure that you know exactly where your money is going.
Thank you all so much. This journey is going to be insane. I’ve already spent countless hours at the computer, nights without sleep, and I’m so exhausted, physically and emotionally. But I’m not giving up. I’m going to show both my son and the adopted child that when you put your mind to something, you can do anything.
We’re going to fight.