Why do I want to adopt? Why is the adoptive community so obsessed with adopting?
Because kids need homes.
Eastern Europe has around 1.5 million orphans.
Asia has over 3.5 million orphans.
Russia has 700,000 orphans.
And these are just the numbers that have been calculated. Think of all the kids living on the streets by themselves. Think of all the moms that don’t know what to do and die during child birth. Think of all of the kids who are left alone and pass away because they don’t make it to an institution.
It breaks my heart.
I wish I had a way to tell each of those kids how special they are; how important they are. But think of all of these special needs children. In other countries, even here in the US, parents are encouraged to abandon their kid if they’re not perfect. If they have Down Syndrome, hydrocephaly, or maybe just has an ear that isn’t perfectly formed. Parents are told that they don’t have what it takes to care for these kids. They’re left alone, without anyone to care for them. I’m sure the workers do the best they can with what they’re given, but really, they aren’t given much.
Now before you start getting upset because I’m not acknowledging the kids in the States, just be patient.
“In the U.S. 397,122 children are living without permanent families in the foster care system. 101,666 of these children are eligible for adoption, but nearly 32% of these children will wait over three years in foster care before being adopted.” (Source)
If you can’t adopt internationally, that’s fine. Look around you. There’s a chance that you’re surrounded by foster kids. At the grocery store, among your kids at school. Seriously. Open your heart and your home to a child who has pretty much nothing to call theirs. Just open Google, and look at what you need to do in order to be a foster parent. It’s not as difficult as you think, I promise.
And before you say that you can’t stand to let a kid go once they’ve been with you, think about what they’ve been through. They were ripped away from their parents and have been bounced from home to home. The least you can do is give them a bed to sleep in that night, and a good breakfast in the morning. Just giving them a smile, even if it seems like they don’t want it or are unappreciative. Be the one person who is a safe place to land. You never know where they’ll end up; you might be the difference between addiction and success.
I’m not trying to pressure you into doing adoption or foster care. I’m just giving you the facts. I’m noticing that people like to give those of us who are pursuing international adoption a hard time, saying that we don’t care enough about the kids in our own backyard. But these same people are ones that come up with excuses as to why they “can’t help the kids right now.” They’re too old, or too busy, or whatever else they want to come up with. So before you start getting on another parent who is trying so hard to get their child home, think about what they’re going through. If you don’t like what they’re doing and how they’re doing it, you are welcome to do it yourself.
I’m not writing this to offend anyone or make anyone upset. I’m just being real. I’m doing this in an attempt to open the eyes of those who wonder. I was so worried about telling everyone what we were doing because I was so worried that someone was going to get upset and say something cruel. But I’m to the point that I don’t care; my child is far more important than someone else’s prejudice.
And for those of you how feel the same way I did; you’re worried about asking for help or even just announcing that this is what you’re trying to do, don’t be. Think about how badly your child needs you. Even if you haven’t chosen a child (or actually, that a child hasn’t chosen you) yet, there’s a child out there that is waiting for you to show up and scoop them into your arms and take them away from all of this mess.
This is my why; this is our why.