Can’t handle it.
Not good enough.
I would fail.
I couldn’t possible give that kid a good life.
How could I even do that? I would only make the situation worse.
These are things that go through my mind every single day, through every mom’s mind. If they don’t, you should write a book, because I would love the encouragement.
As the mom of a toddler, I fail every day. I yell too much, I get frustrated too easily. He watches a bit too much TV and sometimes eats things that aren’t that good for him.
Sometimes I’m selfish. Instead of folding the laundry, I play on my phone. I don’t always make full meals, it’s sometimes just snacks. In fact, if my son is being especially ornery, I stick him in the highchair with some blueberries and call it dinner.
But the reality is that that’s ok. I am still a great mom. I kiss Axel’s head when he bumps it, I cuddle him at night to put him to sleep. I make sure that when he is thirsty, he has something to drink. Even if I can’t afford to go out and buy bananas when he wants them, there is food in his belly and he never goes hungry.
I love my son with everything in me. I would go to the ends of the earth to make sure that he is happy, taken care of, loved.
I keep hearing about how “brave” I am, or how big of a heart I have, or how strong I am. It’s usually followed with, “I could never do that” or “I wouldn’t make a good mom” or “I would fail if I tried.”
I honestly laugh. And then I cry. I’m not brave, or more special, or stronger than anyone else. I’m just a woman who has seen too much misery and death. I’ve seen too many kids without parents leave this earth.
If you feel like adoption, particularly those who have severe medical needs, is something that you would like to do, but don’t feel worthy, I want to ask you a few questions:
- Could you love the child with everything that’s in you?
- Could you feed the child when they are hungry?
- Could you provide water to the child when they are thirsty?
- Could you cuddle the child when they are upset?
- Could you take the child to the doctor when they are sick?
If you answered yes to the questions above, then you fit the bill to be a perfect parent.
In places like Eastern Europe, care for these kids is very little. If you have read my posts about Hannah, you’ll realize that these kids aren’t seen as important or worth saving. They aren’t given the love and affection they are given here. They are left sad and alone, starving and abused.
Any life outside of their current situation is a life worth living. Right now, they’re not really living at all. Some are barely surviving.
Give yourself some credit, and a little grace. It won’t be perfect, and it’ll be difficult at times, but that’s what parenting is.
Please, if you see a child that seems overwhelming, but has attached to your brain to the point that their picture is stuck on the back of your eyelids, don’t wait. Take a leap of faith and let everything else fall into place. The money will show up, the experience will come. But a child’s life is worth it.
It’s always worth it.
If adoption is something you’re considering, be sure to check out Reece’s Rainbow. I dare you to look through some pictures and not have at least one child pull at your heartstrings.